The Phoenician Scheme (2025)

PG-13 for some mild sexual humor.  For example, apparently one of the character has a collection of obscure erotica and we see the covers, which are incredibly tame, for a half a second.  There's also a lot of flirting with a member of the clergy.  Really, that might be the red flag for a lot of people.  There are a lot of borderline sacriligious jokes, but nothing too offensive.  There is also blood and death, but done in a twee, Wes Anderson manner.  But being a Wes Anderson movie, I simply assumed that it would be R.  I am on a streak of PG-13 films.

DIRECTOR:  Wes Anderson

Read the whole thing before you start yelling at me.  *Ahem*  Is Wes Anderson not that big a deal anymore?  I feel like the, "We have to go out and see the new Wes Anderson" era might be over.  Me?  I almost skipped this one, despite the fact that Wes Anderson and I haven't really had a falling out.  There have been movies of his that I have enjoyed less.  But I didn't really know anyone who ran out to see The Phoenician Scheme.  So I let it sit.  Heck, I let it sit so hard that I even ignored it when it hit Peacock. That's pretty bad.  But then Amazon had a 4K sale and I thought that it was a crime that I had judged a Wes Anderson movie before even giving it a chance.  That's so very unlike me.  So now I own this movie and guess what?

I really liked The Phoenician Scheme.

Yeah, I didn't see it coming either.  One thing that is incredibly true about me is that I thrive when I have low expectations.  My critique of Anderson for the past half-dozen films of his is that it feels like he's been doing an impression of himself.  If I rode that critique to its natural end, I don't know if The Phoenician Scheme necessarily disproves that.  Maybe what it does poke a hole through is the notion that it is a bad thing because, if I had a gun to my head, I'd have to say that The Phoenician Scheme might be a combination of The Royal Tenenbaums and The Grand Budapest Hotel.  And here's what makes me a bad film blogger:  I like both of those movies a lot, so I like The Phoenician Scheme.  That's a horrible thing to say, but it absolutely works for me so I don't really feel like apologizing for it.

You guys also have to keep me accountable.  My Trump Derangement Syndrome, unfortunately, makes me see every oligarch as Donald Trump.  Korda / Trump.  That kind of thing.  I can't help it.  Watching an amoral billionaire alienate his family as the entire world wants him dead, my brain actively fights that comparison.  And sure, there's a chance that this is Anderson's take on the President of the United States.  I get it.  But I really don't think it is.  Again, I think that Anderson is pulled towards certain archetype.  With the case of Zsa-Zsa Korda, I can't help but imagine that Anderson wants to play in the Royal Tenenbaum sandbox again.  Korda is so aloof with everything that he does.  His self-centered nature is somehow fascinating to watch.  So while I write this, I will try to make this about general oligarchy, not any particular sitting president.  

It's kind of amazing how inaccessible the main plot of the movie is.  Maybe someone out there really gets the ins-and-outs of this movie.  But I get the vibe that we're not really supposed to be savvy to what Korda is fighting for.  Rather, this is a story of characters running into other characters.  It's nothing new in the world of Wes Anderson.  Anderson creates these characters who both epitomize the blahness of life while simultanously performing in such an exaggerated manner that you can't help but find them compelling.  If you take the eponymous Phoenician Scheme out of the plot, it is really just an excuse to have morally bankrupt Zsa-Zsa Korda encounter other morally bankrupt individuals.  These individuals, while quirky and unbalanced, never quite match the devilish selfishness of Korda, which makes the story more compelling to see how Korda is going to shift given a slight variation on himself.

But my job isn't to kiss anyone's butt here.  I mean, if the movie deserves a good butt kissing, sure, I'm all about that.  (Also, my job has little to do with this blog, but that's a completely different matter.) I have to account for the fact that I'm dancing around the fact that this movie almost doesn't have a plot.  If this is not an attack on Trump (see!  I'm doing it again!) and it's just an excuse for Anderson to play around with his Royal Tenenbaum archetype, what is the point of the film?  After all, this is a story deeply set in absurdism.  Yes, Korba ends the film by getting rid of almost all of his assets and he settles down into a profession where he can be near his daughter.  (I don't really recall that Korba had any interest in cooking or restaurant managment, but that's what the movie gave us.) However, as much as Liesl is the daughter that holds him accountable for his deplorable behavior, her flat affect never really seems to be an influential figure in his life so much as she is the avatar for the audience.

If Liesl is the reason that Korba makes real change in his life (or maybe it isn't!  I hope I come back to explore this.), it's only because we get a lot of tell-not-show.  Liesl's entire personality is flat affect.  She's always more annoyed with Zsa-Zsa than she is desperate to find a father figure.  Again, if this is The Royal Tenenbaums, she's Margot.  Heck, that Margot connection is really close.  After all, there's a good chance that Liesl isn't Zsa-Zsa's daughter in a similar way that Margot is the adopted child of Royal.  But Margot never really gets Royal to change.  If we use The Royal Tenenbaums as our foundational piece for what it means to have the impish grump make change, it's only because of Royal's relationship with his grandchildren and Chaz, who both have reason to want Royal in their lives.  But with Liesl and Margot, neither one of them really have a budding relationship with these people.  If anything, if Liesl is the catalyst for Zsa-Zsa's change, it is because he already desperately wants to make the change.

But maybe Liesl isn't the reason for his change.  (I regret not immediately writing the epiphany I had down because now I've mostly lost it.  Curse this desperate need for even rudimentary organization!) There is a chance that the very nature of being observed by Liesl as opposed to Liesl herself may be the impetus of her change.  I already mentioned that the parade of characters that Zsa-Zsa confronts to complete his buisiness holdings are more reflective of the man that Zsa-Zsa is than actually offering new characters.  However, each one of them is mildly disappointing compared to Korba himself.  After all, Korba is mostly able to swindle each one of them, despite the fact that they all claim to have the upper hand on Korba's shady.  Yet, Liesl doesn't change her disgust for Korba's behavior.  The only thing that she even mildly relents on is the notion of bringing her uncle to justice.  I don't see much of a connection between this vengeful behavior and a bonding moment.  

And that might be a problem with Wes Anderson.  Listen, I don't want him to change it.  I don't want Anderson to become like any other director.  He is who he is and I love it.  But his characters behave so uniquely that it is impossible to imagine them having truly vulnerable moments anymore.  Again, I can't stop talking about how much I love The Royal Tenenbaums.  With The Royal Tenenbaums, there were moments that were close to vulnerable.  We don't really get there anymore with modern Wes Anderson.  I couldn't see a moment where Liesl drops the whole closed-off nun thing and really has a heart-to-heart about what she needs with her father.  Similarly Zsa-Zsa Korba is not the kind of guy who will let down his guard to actually feel something.  If he does, he keeps it in his back pocket.  So when we have this ending where the two have bonded over the fact that Zsa-Zsa has defended himself from his brother / Liesl's mother's murderer / Liesl's biological father, I don't see that as the moment that really bonds them.  I also don't see it as the moment that leads Zsa-Zsa to make the first altrusitic choice of his life.

Still, I don't really care.  If anything, I kind of enjoy that this movie is a little bit more playful than Asteroid City (a movie that I need to watch again.) But read all of this knowing that this is the exact kind of Wes Anderson that I dig.  It may not be objectively his best movie, probably evidenced that it got no attention at the Academy Awards.  But it's something that I really enjoy.  (And with that, I'm caught up with blogs!  At least, until tonight when I finish Autumn Sonata...)