Star Wars: Episode VI -Return of the Jedi [Theatrical Cut] (1983)

PG for all of the Star Wars-y action that you are accustomed to.  It almost seems like tradition that someone has to lose a limb, so there is another dismemberment.  Some kids are scarred from scary monsters.  It's weird that I'm even writing this, but the rancor and the sarlacc pit are pretty messed up and scary.  Also, characters die.  But we're at the height of PG here.  I have few notes that make this movie not okay for kids.

DIRECTOR: Richard Marquand

I had to Google if Ross Marquand was related to Richard Marquand.  The answer is yes.  He's a distant relative.  See, you learned something from reading this blog.

My kids got me really angry for this watching of what might be the best presentation of Return of the Jedi.  This has nothing to do with Return of the Jedi, but I've officially turned into the old man who gets mad at kids these days.  How do my kids have such a crappy attention span?  Seriously.  One of my favorite things to do when I was a kid was to watch movies with my family.  Like, it was the thing I looked forward to all week.  I'm going to guess that something is probably tied to the existence of streaming and the fact that they can watch anything at any time.  But a family watch of Return of the Jedi is supposed to be one of those bonding moments.  Oh my goodness.  It was like I was asking them to clean their rooms.  They did anything they could not to watch the movie.  There were a couple of tantrums on my end.  I just wanted my kids to sit down and watch the theatrical cut of Return of the Jedi with me.  They make Star Wars references all the time without actually having seen Star Wars.  Drives me nuts.

Anyway, this crime spree of watching the theatrical cuts of the Star Wars movies through the despecialized editions was a treat.  (Well, it would have been if they hadn't been so obstinate about watching a movie with their dear old dad.)  Maybe I'm nuts, but as beautiful as the print of Return of the Jedi was (absolutely justifying the purchase in my head), The Empire Strikes Back print seemed better.  It could be that Hoth just looks absolutely sick in high def.  I don't know.   But Return of the Jedi might have the most amount of changes between the theatrical cuts and the special editions.  I'm going to be a bit blasphemous here, simply because I can.  I adore the theatrical cut (that's not the blasphemy!), but the changes in Return of the Jedi, while massive especially compared to Empire, aren't as evil as the changes that happen in A New Hope.  There's a reason that we talk about the Han and Greedo sequence.  It is a character change that affects the whole franchise.  Now, again, I'm giving a lot more weight to something that ultimately shouldn't matter.  But I'm firmly in the "Han Shot First" camp.  But with Return of the Jedi, the changes are almost there knowing the legacy of Star Wars.

Let's be honest: George Lucas --as much as I respect the dude --claims that the Special Editions were the only version of the story.  He claims that, if he had the technology available to him back in the day, would have made the theatrical cut look like the Special Editions.  The Return of the Jedi special editions are exhibit A for the prosecution that these were never planned sequences.  The first and foremost argument is the ending of Jedi itself.  Me, I always loved "Yub Nub".  I was an insufferable nerdy kid who sang "Yub Nub" ironically all the time.  But it wasn't that ironic.  I genuinely loved "Yub Nub" and pretended that my goofy rear end was making fun of it.  It seemed like what the Ewoks would have done.  But even more so, showing all of the planets in the New Republic rising up and throwing of off the shackles of the Empire only really works when you understand that there is a much larger canon that would only be made present with the start of The Phantom Menace.  Star Wars as a franchise got way larger than Lucas had ever imagined it.  That last sequence is a testament to what these movies became versus what they were.  I'm all about celebrating what Star Warsbecame.  I just don't want to claim that this was always the plan.  Lucas was always really good at "This was always the plan." 

But Return of the Jedi Special Edition also is the birthplace of Sy Snoodles's "Jedi Rocks."  I don't hate the sequence.  Honestly, I don't.  It's very CG.  Like, VERY CG.  This might be the thing that aged the poorest.  But it's fun.  I'm a big fan of fun Star Wars.  But do you know what else it is?  Absolutely unnecessary.  If anything, it's distracting from the amazing pacing that Jabba's Palace offers in the theatrical cut.  Jabba's Palace is a place of tension.  It's a grimy and un-Jedi like place.  That's kind of what I love about the original trilogy; we kept getting thrown into places that Jedi would not find themselves comfortable with.  Jabba's Palace on Tattooine is similar to how we experience Dagobah.  Maybe that's what prequel trilogy kids seemed to dislike about the original trilogy.  Jedi in the prequels and the sequels are all about massive cities and Jedi temples.  Return of the Jedi makes its opening adventure (which takes up a lot of great runtime) in a grimy backroom of a slug mob boss.  And guess what?  It's freaking great.  I'll be honest with you.  A lot of me wants to argue that Return of the Jedi might be the best Star Wars movie.  (I won't because both emotionally and intellectually, I will hold up Empire as the perfect Star Wars movie.)   But you can split Jedi into two perfect parts:  Jabba's Palace and Endor.  Sure, a lot of you hate Ewoks.  But if Empire was aggressively bleak, Return of the Jedi rewards you for going through the Swamps of Sadness (I know, NeverEnding Story) to just an action packed romp.  Return of the Jedi works in tandem with Empire Strikes Back.  Sure, you could argue that Empire Strikes Back has nonstop action.  But its the repeated failure of these characters.  When we get to Return of the Jedi, there's this inherent fun all through the movie.  I mean, you scoff, but a blind Han Solo bumped Boba Fett into a sarlacc pit to his death.  And it still does all this while resolving its heavy themes.

Why do you hate Ewoks?  I mean, honestly.  Why do you hate Ewoks?  Sure, we all know that Lucas wanted Wookiees for the final film and couldn't afford them.  (I'm still trying to do the budget that would change tall people for short people and drastically change a movie.) But I saw Revenge of the Sith and Wookiees did nothing for me like what Ewoks did for me.  Ewoks are more fun.  Between being stand ins for indigenous fighters repelling a far superior force, they're kind of hilarious.  Sure, I'm the guy who probably railed against Jar Jar Binks because I never cared for Jar Jar Binks (which does not give people license to harass Ahmed Best).  But Ewoks balance humor and pathos in the exact way that scene should have.  The fact that Han, Luke, and Chewie are almost sacrificed to these adorable creatures makes the entire culture instantly understandable.  

I'm writing for the sake of writing at this point, despite the fact that I have another entry right after this.  Let's talk about Obi-Wan Kenobi and "From a certain point of view".  Now, I have to imagine that Lucas himself knew that his throwaway line from A New Hope was problematic.  When Obi-Wan explains what he meant by the death of Anakin Skywalker, Luke even looks at Ben incredulously.  It seems like Ben is doing some mental gymnastics to get to that point.  But what I will give Lucas credit for with the prequels is establishing the friendship between Obi-Wan and Anakin.  Return of the Jedi is mostly strengthened with the prequels.  There are some moments that probably didn't work before the prequels.  A New Hope and Empire mostly don't thrive because of the prequels.  It's probably why the Machete Cut of Star Wars is watchable.  Return of the Jedi thrives most when Darth Vader becomes more than an evil archetype.  With Jedi, there's some humanity woven through the character.  Lucas has always been a bit of a problem with light switch moments when it comes to his characterization, especially when it comes to Anakin Skywalker / Darth Vader.  One of the most frustrating parts of Revenge of the Sith is when Anakin turns on Mace Windu.  The thing that kind of excuses that moment is Darth Vader's betrayal of the Emperor.  It's such a light switch moment that I've always forgiven.  After all, it was only moments before then that Vader is torturing Luke and tossing lightsabers at him.  The fact that he shifts is only slightly helped by parallel frustrating character changes.

It's weird how little we know about the Emperor.  Seriously, we have action figures for the guy who stole the ice cream machine on Bespin, but the Emperor is just an evil dude.  I know that there have been stories in the extended universe and some of the new Disney+ stuff, but we don't really have a definitive origin for this character.  Yet, this character still positively works.  Maybe the Emperor's presence is what allows Darth Vader to become redeemed at the end of Jedi.  We needed a joint character to rally against and that's what Emperor Palpatine provides.  I adore Ian McDiarmid in this role.  Like, the fact that the man stayed as the backbone of the franchise is wonderful.  But I have no idea what is going on with this character.  Oh, don't worry!  I inherited a lot of Star Wars: Legends novels, so I'm probably going to know a lot about this character even though very little of it will be canon.

Listen, I'm not selling anyone on Return of the Jedi here.  I already wrote a ton about Return of the Jedi on the Special Edition blog.  Do I remember what I said?  No.  Will I read it?  Absolutely not.  But my big takeaway is that I wish my kids gave the movie a fair shot.  Regardless, it was a good time for me.