Salem's Lot (2024)

Rated R for a lot of death --like on a next level --including some of the child characters.  There's swearing throughout and some stuff that might touch a little on blasphemy for the more theologically sensitive.  There's alcoholism, which is oddly a recurring motif throughout the movie.  Still, this is a pretty gnarly vampire movie that has some cool-yet-terrifying vampires.  Or maybe they're cool BECAUSE they are terrifying.  R.

DIRECTOR:  Gary Dauberman

See, I did catch a scary movie that wasn't a commentary on other movies.  Okay, this is one of those vampire movies that is aggressively a retelling of Dracula.  But I also feel like Salem's Lot as a story is its own thing because it's not directly tied to the whole Dracula thing.  But I need to tell you.  There's a lot of reviews that call this movie's greatest sin as being "only okay."  See, I have that criticism about a lot of movies.  I don't think that Salem's Lot falls into that camp.  I think Rise of Skywalker falls into that camp.  This is no Rise of Skywalker.

Honestly, my biggest frustration with the middling reviews on this movie is that it almost has the same quality as It.  Both are written by the same dude, and I'm not talking Stephen King here.  Gary Dauberman is an anchor in both movies and Salem's Lot owes a lot to the success of the It remake.  Aesthetically, it almost feels like Salem's Lot falls into the same universe.  Now, I know that there are Salem's Lot megafans.  I'm talking about the book here.  I can even guess that one of them that I know down the hall might be reading this and, you know what?  Good for him.  Do I understand that the adaptation of Salem's Lot is different enough that the book?  Absolutely.  I even read the book and remember parts of it.  But as a movie?  As a movie that does a lot of the book (while parts may be different)?  This movie absolutely slaps.  Sure, it will never be on the top tier vampire movies.  I'm super glad that I watched it on streaming because I probably wouldn't necessarily own this movie unless it was truly affordable and Meijer had it on a sick display saying "Buy me."  (I'm easily swayed by level of effort to buy physical media.)  But I do know that I had a heck of a time with this movie.  Now, it might be down to the idea that all of you talked some real trash about this movie.  I did go into it with trepidation.  But I'll tell you what?  This might be as good of a Salem's Lot adaptation that we can get.

That's the biggest selling point about Salem's Lot.  This is a movie that is not forgetting to have fun, despite the fact that it might be incredibly creepy.  I was lamenting the fact that horror movies are probably not good for me.  I don't like watching people get ripped apart.  Yet, while watching about an infestation of vampires, those concerns went out the window.  It's not like there's no gore in the movie.  It's more along the lines that I'm not watching the movie for the gore.  I know that a lot of people have a hard time accepting jump scares.  I'm going to make the argument that jump scares are healthy scares.  As a guy who just watched In a Violent Nature, I'm going to preach about how gore seems exploitative and jump scares just feel fun.  In a Violent Nature, by its very structure, cannot have a jump scare.  So all of the weight goes into watching people get butchered.  But it gets wildly depressing.  However, these vampire hunters being picked off one-by-one?  That gets my heart racing and makes me laugh.  I'm not saying that Salem's Lot is not violent.  It totally is.  At times, you might even argue it gets excessive.  But it never really feels like I'm watching people get butchered.  

Instead, the movie hinges on the idea that anyone, at any point, can bite it (pun intended).   That's genuine suspense.  Here's the deal!  I've read the book.  I've stated this, but I cannot stress this enough.  I read the book and I was still shocked by certain deaths in this movie.  Dramatic irony is important to the horror movie.  While Salem's Lot is not exactly treading new ground, the individual elements of this movie carry a lot of the movie to make it borderline something special.  It doesn't hurt that it has a '70s aesthetic.  I do love the fact that Dauberman learned from It that setting something in another era totally helps make the setting something unique (ironic, considering that I want all movies to take place in a bygone era).  But King and Dauberman made these characters likable.  We want all of them to survive and very few of them do.  Heck, this movie gave us a romance to root for and that romance is undone before the final act of the film.  That's insane to me.  Don't even talk to me about the multiple bromances that get torn apart.

Let's talk about MVP Mark.   In my head, this was a movie about Ben Mears and how he was the outsider who ends up fighting the whole town.  Yeah, Ben still gets the lion's share of screentime.  But this movie has more in common with The Lost Boys in terms of comic book kids fighting vampires.  I don't know what it is about Mark and how just cool with fighting the undead this kid gets.  He makes every scene so much better.  I'm not being hyperbolic.  This isn't, "I really like this character or performer."  This is, Ben the protagonist does what most people would do and flail in the face of evil.  Mark is there to pull the pin out of every grenade in the best possible way.  I'm sure that there were a vocal percentage of the people who watched this movie and were upset about the end drastically changing.  (I, too, think it is silly that all of the vampires would park out at the drive-in, leaving them vulnerable.  But I also think that a giant fight sequence at the drive-in was absolutely sick, so I'll turn my brain off for two seconds.)   But Mark taking out the screen to let the sun in was cheer worthy.  CHEER.  WORTHY.  I couldn't believe how much cool stuff that they gave to this character.  It also stays with the theme of the outsider having to expose light (pun intended) on the flaws of this small town.  Making him a Black teen goes even further, especially given a town of mostly white people.

I don't know, man. I loved this movie.  I thought it was one of the more fun horror movies that I've seen in a while.  I'll even be honest.  I thought that Salem's Lot wasn't my favorite King.  It's not bad, but it was never my favorite.  This movie makes me consider rereading the book just so I can have the same amount of fun that I have while watching the movie.  It's a solid time that ticked off all of my boxes.