Once Upon a Time in China V (1994)

Not rated, but there's language, violence, and gore.  Like, tonally, this feels like a PG or a PG-13 movie.  It's something that I probably would have watched in 1994 without a second thought.  But comparing the gore in the early entries versus the gore in the later entires, it's kind of hilarious.  Like, one of the main characters gets a tendon ripped out of his leg and he just walks it off.  There's a lot of this.  Also, there's a mild sexual innuendo that is tame by any standard.  So take it from there.  It's not rated, but treat it as '90s PG-13.  

DIRECTOR: Hark Tsui

It makes no sense.  There is absolutely no reason that I started enjoying the Once Upon a Time in China franchise once I got to the fifth entry.  Like, it breaks so many of my rules for what makes a solid film.  Yet, here we are.  Me, turning around on this entire franchise because I like part five of a series.  To be fair, I'm one of the few people who actually kind of likes Rocky V, so maybe I just like being contrary and temper my expectations.

It's Boxing Day as I write this.  Traditionally, we have a big family party on Boxing Day.  But we cancelled it this year.  However, the reason that I'm mentioning my situation is that I'm buried in blog entires that I have to do.  I have three films to write about and one of them is Part FIve of a series and I kind of liked this one.  That's a dangerous combo.  We'll see if I can find enough things to say to justify this digital real estate.

The thing that frustrates me is that the one thing that this franchise actually intrigued me with is a political stance.  I don't know if I always agreed with the politics of the Once Upon a Time in China franchise, but I at least applauded that it had something to say, even if it was set in a world of epic action comedy.  Now, I've been complaining about these movies for a while now.  Between being drawn out and often incredibly muddy, there wasn't a ton to jump on board.  I mean, I was being generous sometimes.  But it seems like Once Upon a Time in China V finally stopped talking about isolationist zealots versus treasonous foreigners.  Like, I liked the commentary that the franchise as a whole offered, but even I had to acknowledge that the further that the films progressed, the less nuance that the conversation offered.  This one doesn't do that.  If anything, this movie kind of comes across as a '90s team superhero movie like X-Men​.  (Yes, I know that X-Men came out in 2000.  Maybe The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?  Oh, that 2003.) 

But there is a political stance in this.  Okay, sure everything is political, even and especially things that claim to be apolitical.  That's not what I'm talking about with Once Upon a Time in China V.  No, it's not aggressively political and that's a bummer. But the final act of this movie makes a statement on oppressive capitalism.  I mean, the movie is called Once Upon a Time in China.  But this is one of those stories, much like It's a Wonderful Life, that weaves in the notion that people shouldn't be so tight-fisted about their services.   I also am probably the only person on the planet who has made the connection --albeit forced --between Once Upon a Time in China V and It's a Wonderful Life, so I'll take that award now.  Much of the movie is a fun romp between Wong Fei-Hung's school and pirates.  Yeah, pirates.

Can I tell you how much I like the pirates in this movie?  Like, I'm not a pirate guy.  Those people who are huge Pirates of the Caribbean fans, I don't get it.  Those movie deliver on a very specific pirate archetype and that's fine for a lot of people.  But Once Upon a Time in China V serves up what I consider "the video game pirate."  These are so over-the-top brigands that they are almost laughable in how evil these guys are.  And the thing that's absolutely perfect?  It almost undoes the crime that Once Upon a Time in China II commits.  Once Upon a Time in China II offers a potentially supernatural villain.  Now, one of the things that this franchise does is establish certain rules, but pretends that it is grounded.  When the villain in II claims that he is immortal, there's this question all the way through on the rules of this world.  After all, while wire-fu is a key conceit to this franchise, the first movie takes what should be an extreme version of a grounded world, the second brings up the notion that perhaps there is something greater out there.  Well, that guy was a fraud and it was all tricks.  

Forget that in V.  V embraces that weird stuff happens.  And I don't know why the weird stuff makes me smile.  There's this sequence, oddly enough, in the second act, where Wong Fei-Hung fights a 120-year-old super pirate who is borderline magic.  And I don't know why that made the franchise way more fun.  I've been getting more and more annoyed by the casual use of wire-fu in this franchise.  But when you combine wire-fu and an absurd premise, it somehow becomes way more fun.  Like, I was way more forgiving of these epic wire-fu sequences because it was magic pirates.  Before, I lived in a world where everyone was a superhero trying to win a contest that seemed silly and now I have my super team fighting evil magic pirates and I'm all aboard.  It seems like such a smaller story than what I was dealing with before and I just liked that story where I could understand what was going on.

I also complained about Once Upon a Time in China IV about Wong Fei-Hung being the worst boyfriend in the world when they introduced 14th Aunt.  Like, it was such a step backwards in the story.  I thought they were just going to ignore 14th Aunt.  But it feels like Hark Tsui was desperately trying to redeem the franchise, so he took advantage of the goofiness that Once Upon a Time in China IV did.  I need to point something out from a relationship perspective.  Wong Fei-Hung's entire personality is being a genius at everything except for love.  Okay, I can accept that.  I don't love that sequels undoes some of the things that he learns in previous entries, but a lot of his growth has stuck by Once Upon a Time in China V, so I can forgive certain things.  But I was always so angry at Wong Fei-Hung for being such a dope in this series.  But I actively got mad at 13th Aunt / Siu-Kwan in this one.  One of the things that's kind of cute about her character in previous entries is that she's a little shrewd when it comes to flirting with Wong Fei-Hung.  But in this one, that line is crossed I didn't care for. Let's talk about the marriage that happens in this movie.

Sure, the two characters needed to move their relationship along by this point.  I wouldn't even hate a marriage between the two characters at this point.  They've been dancing around it for long enough.  But I don't like the idea that Siu-Kwan tricks Wong Fei-Hung into a marriage.  It's this moment that makes us sympathize with 14th Aunt, who absolutely should have no claim over Wong Fei-Hung.  There's this great fallout with these two sisters fighting over the same dude (I know, it's regressive, but it makes for fun storytelling.) But the bigger problem is that Wong Fei-Hung doesn't really have a chance to screw up.  It's almost like the movie is safeguarding Wong Fei-Hung from any scrutiny because he's constantly being manipulated in this relationship.  That's not healthy.  It makes the entire relationship that I've been low-key rooting for something gross.  Besides, we don't really know if they're married or not.  

Also, stop teasing me by saying that Foon and 14th Aunt are never going to be a thing.  He puts himself out there in a vulnerable way, which is huge for a comic relief character.  But the movie won't let him be a character.  II gave him moments of pain and this movie, given an opportunity to cash in on that pain, makes it a bit.  It's really weird because the script teases that he should have more from that moment than what he got.

Okay, I have nothing left to say.  This is a silly movie that embraces its own silliness.  I'm almost done with this franchise and I have a feeling that this entry won't have much say in the next film.  Still, I dug it against all odds.