Half a Loaf of Kung Fu (1978)

Not rated, but let's pretend that it is an R for language at minimum.  Mostly, the movie is incredibly immature, relying on pee and poop jokes occasionally.  While the film is all about kung fu and the violence that stems out of kung fu, most of the violence is pretty innocent...except when the bad guy uses his kung fu. Then it gets a little brutal.  Still, the movie is aimed at a teenage sensibility.   It's crass when it wants to be, but never really tonally leaves a goofy place.  Not rated.

DIRECTOR: Chi-Hwa Chen

Do you know what?  Part of me is kind of jazzed to write this.  I have a hand covered in blisters, so this is mild torture.  But I'm home now and this feels like a productive return to normal.  Also, I'm starting with an absolute cracker of a goofy kung fu movie. It's so funny that, for all of Criterion's hoity-toitiness, they really love Jackie Chan.  (Note:  I'm not sure whether to write his name out of "Jackie" or "Jacky" based on credits in these movies.) I remember finding out that Supercop was on Criterion LaserDisc and that blew my mind.  Now that I own the Police Story box set and have started this Jackie Chan box set, I'm glad that Criterion can be a little cool about goofy movies.

If you were ever going to sell me on the notion that I was going to like a box set of kung fu movies, naming the first one in the set Half a Loaf of Kung Fu was perfect.  Immediately, I knew that I was going to get something absolutely absurd and corny, which sometimes works when it comes to kung fu.  Samurai movies, considering what I have seen, normally take themselves pretty seriously. In my head, Jackie Chan has a lot to do with the directing of this film, despite the fact that it is credited with Chi-Hwa Chen.  But Jackie Chan is credited as the martial arts director and from what I get about this guy, he's a big fan of not taking his amazing craft too seriously.  I know, down the line, Jackie Chan will get into some pretty serious films.  But I'm always in the mindset that he's the guy who loves making stuff that will get a bloopers track at the end of a movie.  And the opening of Half a Loaf really establishes exactly what the purpose of the film is. 

The beginning of the movie parodies every other marital arts movie imaginable.  When I saw the Zatoichi send up, I knew that I was going to be in good hands.  I didn't recognize all of them.  While I've probably seen more kung fu movies than my friends, it's pretty safe to say that I haven't seen a lot.  I gotta say, the opening of the movie is fun.  But it does kind of send an interesting message, potentially accidentally.  The opening of the movie, with all of its jokes, kind of feels like the filmmakers don't really treat Half a Loaf of Kung Fu like a real movie. As fun as it is, it really has nothing to do with the movie itself.  Now, Half a Loaf is unabashedly silly.  But most of the movie exists diagetically within its own universe.  I say "Most" because every time that there hasn't been a funny bit on screen for a while, the movie likes to remind you that you are watching a movie.  Much like the Genie in Aladdin, there are anachronistic references that make no sense within the universe you are watching.  Some of them are winks.  For example, a non-diagetic track might play, winking at the audience that Jiang views himself as Popeye the Sailor Man.  It's a gag, but at least it's only winked at.  But later in the movie, the movie straight up name drops Zatoichi and Bruce Lee.  Considering that the movie is meant to be a period piece, it's really weird that the movie decides to get that meta.

I don't mind the movie being funny.  It's perfectly in line with my expectations of Jackie Chan.  But the movie really has a hard time defining what is appropriate and what can just be too silly.  The movie often feels like just a screwball action comedy.  I love when the movie does this. But then there are times when the movie almost becomes a parody film.  It's in these moments where I feel like the movie is just doing bits that kind of irk me a little.  There's a moment in the beginning of the film where Jiang is dreaming of learning kung fu.  It kind of works.  It establishes the character's motivations, so the appearance of a kung fu scene this early in the film has an in-universe explanation for why it is happening.  Okay.  That's fine. I also know that this movie is promising half a loaf of kung fu, so we can't wait for Jiang to learn kung fu by the final act.  So we get this sequence where Jackie Chan is just wrecking dudes with silly kung fu.

The problem with this sequence is that it stops the movie narratively so that Jackie Chan can do bits.  I can't stand the bits, guys.  If something funny happens during the course of the narrative, I'm all for it.  There's a lot of it here.  I applaud that movie.  But there are a lot of times where the movie is almost trying to inject more laughs into the movie.  These are the scenes that really get under my skin.  I've always vocally complained about adding silly music to silly sequences.  There's a lot of that in this movie.  Maybe this is the difference between funny and zany. I like funny.  I hate zany.  There's a lot of zany.

But what Half a Loaf of Kung Fu does right is showcase how much of a genius and a talent Jackie Chan is.  Honestly, Jackie Chan is the still living Gene Kelly.  My musical tastes tend to lean towards the Gene Kelly / Fred Astaire stuff.  Gene Kelly beats Fred Astaire, by the way.  I don't care if you disagree.  My arguement is that Gene Kelly made his physical talent into something that was both impressive and hilarious.  The opening to Singin' in the Rain where he's doing the "Fit as a Fiddle" bit is incredible and funny as the day is long.  Do you know what else that applies to?   Jackie Chan in his fights at the end with the young beggar. They're both about tight choreography coupled with comic timing to make something that almost no one else in the world can do.  That's what makes Jackie Chan Gene Kelly.  While I would love to say that we live in a world that appreciates people like Gene Kelly, Jackie Chan understood that sometimes fighting can also be a comedic artform. 

As fun as Half a Loaf of Kung Fu is, it has so many insane choices to it.  I dare you to tell me what a new Simpsons episode is about based on the first act of the episode. The beginning of The Simpsons is always a mislead.  The beginning of "Das Bus", the Lord of the Flies episode, starts with Bart and Lisa staying up all night to watch The Ten Commandments.  The same structure is used for Half a Loaf.  Because these movies are showcases for physical comedy, Jiang has to get into all kinds of unrelated scrapes to keep the plot going forward.  (I'm typing terribly today.)  The plot of the movie is that a silly con man wants to learn kung fu and does whatever he can to learn.  But golly, there are so many plots floating around this movie that I'm not quite sure what constitutes a B-plot int his movie.  If you are taking the side stories seriously, you are a better man than me because I couldn't tell you who was related to whom and what the goal was.  The movie has a Battle of the Five Armies attitude because the it couldn't be bothered to solve the problems individually.  It's just so much and I don't actually care that much.

And that's the best way to watch this movie!  I know.  It's a cop out.  The movie doesn't take itself seriously enough.  The plot is all over the place.  But the movie is fun.  I actually had a really good time with it, even though I was groaning through most of the humor.  It's because it is a showcase of talent, pure and simple.  I think I'm going to like the box set for the same reason.  It's just really impressive kung fu choreography with a likable lead.  That's what makes Jackie Chan a star.  It doesn't have to be a great movie to be a great time.